No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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