Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
nutella sex= disaster
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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