"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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