so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
