did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
