what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
