So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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