You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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