found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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