Your tits are I can't wait for
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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