ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I FOUND THE LEGS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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