How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
