I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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