All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
