I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm too high and old for this...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
