haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize