Don't you send me to vm
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
