I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
