Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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