There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
