I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
