One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
