i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
