Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Vodka?
Forever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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