Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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