Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have tasted many bathrooms
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
