What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
