He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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