is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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