best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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