How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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