it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
