it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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