remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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