I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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