when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this just has baby written all over it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
