So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
