My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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