Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
