Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
