hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
