That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
