well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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