When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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