he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
