I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to sanitize my soul.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
