they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
