What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
