You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm both gender and math confused
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
