as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
