I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
