I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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