Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
