Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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