He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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