Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
