Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
