hotel room ftw
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
