can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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