Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
