You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
