I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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